June 15, 2016


Empty Nest Flutterings: The Multiplying Condiment Miracle


By Lisa Batten Kunkleman

How is it possible to clean out my fridge, using my large sink as a holding spot for discards, filling said sink with outdated bottles and jars of condiments and beet remains while still ending up with a chockfull fridge? Dang! It hardly looks any different from when I started except it’s missing a few sticky spots.

It’s sort of like the Bible story you may remember: the miracle of the loaves and fishes multiplying to feed the masses. But I don’t want to feed the masses. We’re empty nesters with a couple of birds who flew back for the summer. That means I need more room for fresh vegetables to feed the coeds. They’ve eaten cafeteria buffet and junk food the entire school year and it’s my job to help boost their immune systems while the fresh crops are filling produce stands. I’m now known as a master salad maker and veggie smoothie queen mother. These lucky kids are living in a healthy food paradise. That is, with all the fruits and veggies that I can squeeze in the fridge. They only last so long on the kitchen counter.

So, I decided to eliminate lots of unnecessary, unhealthy condiments and make some room. I had to force myself to get physical with all that gunk in the containers, rinse them out, and properly dispose of them in the recycle bin. I’m ashamed to admit three were too much for me and won the struggle so they went in the trash. That may haunt me enough that I go digging through the outside trash bin to retrieve them and try harder.

Now that I’m rested, I may dive back into the fridge and search for more expiration dates from 2014 like the Worcestershire sauce I poured down the big sink drain. I figure it must have turned to Drano by now and might eat up some cloggy plaque. I’ll tackle the fridge clearing again because I must make more room for actual food. Man cannot live by condiments alone.

10 thoughts on “Empty Nest Flutterings: The Multiplying Condiment Miracle

  1. Recently, as I cleaned out our pantry, I came across some soup with a 2011 date…where does the time go?

  2. If only I had that answer. I shouldn’t tell you we have jelly galore that we made in 2009 that’s taking up space because I’m too lazy to dump it all out and clean the canning jars. Always one of those things I put off till tomorrow.

  3. I know some people who can eat a condiment sandwich, but they have bread

  4. I have a friend who has a passion for collecting hot sauces and his refrigerator holds dozens of bottles. His poor wife can barely find room for the groceries! Don’t go there, Lisa 🙂

  5. Excellent. Good for you.

  6. Pingback: What’s in Your Fridge? | Life Stories and Beyond

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