June 11, 2016


Milk Leaks and Dog Leaks


By Lisa Batten Kunkleman

My day began with a soft pat on the arm and a nuzzle against my fingers. No, this was not my husband. It was our people-phobic beautiful FAT black cat, Daisy Mae. I had received a gift from the object of everyone’s desire. When I tried to return the caress, she allowed me five strokes of her soft back and neck. That was it. Off the bed she hopped, destination in mind.
“That’s all you get, Mere Human. I hope you enjoyed that. Now get up and feed me.” I could translate her meow.


I followed Her Majesty toward the kitchen as ordered. I walked carefully, playing dodge-a-dog on the way up the hall, through the den and into the laundry room where I refilled her bowl, along with one for another cat. One of our young adults who was back in the nest had already fed our three dog children or they would have been prancing around my legs on the trip to the land of food.


While preparing one of my masterpiece smoothies, I either started a hot flash or the thermostat needed to be adjusted. It’s a good thing I went for the thermostat in the next room or I wouldn’t have seen the enormous puddle on the floor. Dang it! Why, Sadie? Her hound dog puddles are like small lakes. I let her out late last night. Couldn’t she have put her big old foot on my shoulder like Daisy did to get me up?


Breakfast prep halted as I grabbed paper towels and Nature’s Miracle Hardwood Floor Cleaner and tended the wet mess. All the while, Daisy glided around the accident scene as if saying, “Aren’t you glad I got you up, Human? And you should note, I didn’t do this.”


After nearly scrubbing the skin off my hands, I resumed making my energy drink. What the heck is this? Who spilled milk all over the counter-top? Did one of the cats knock over a glass? Then I figured out the source.


Oh-my-gosh. Almond milk was seeping out the bottom of the blender leaving behind a bunch of damp kale, blueberries, and lime. I lifted the glass blender jug from the machine and watched the last drops of white liquid drip out. After a dazed moment, I remembered my sanitation-obsessed daughter was home from college and had likely separated the pieces for washing and left it loose to dry. Great idea but I must remember that things change when the birds fly back to the nest. So, I tightened the very loose bottom of the blender. If there was not enough almond milk left in the carton, this would be a roughie, not a smoothie.


I stood there contemplating what to blame for my unexpected issue. I blamed the mulberries I was sorting through to keep moldy ones out of my drink. That was about the time I got hot and left the kitchen. But no, the instant replay in my head reminded me it was actually the doggie accident that took my attention part way through the smoothie making. That was the real culprit. If that sounds gross, don’t even think about what goes on with the hands that handle our food in restaurants. Ewww. No. Don’t go there.


Oh yeah, to top off the morning, I also tried to cut slivers of ginger for the drink and dropped the sharp scissors nearly cutting slivers from my flip-flop clad foot. That would have meant another mess to tend to. A bloody mess. Did you get that, how I cursed in British? On with the day. Milk leaks and dog leaks had interrupted enough of my morning.




20 thoughts on “Milk Leaks and Dog Leaks

  1. Always in need of a thumb to open the door… Dogs use patience.

  2. Oh, I can relate to this since we live with three cats. One of them, Katie, looks a lot like your Daisy. It’s amazing how self-serving they are at times. What’s more amazing is how much I coddle them, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope it was smooth sailing for the rest of your day, Lisa.

    • Thanks Carol. They’re worth the coddle I’m sure. Yes, the day improved. And this morning, darn if she didn’t do it again after I took her outside several times late last night. When I called her to see her mess, she happily came thinking it was food time. Then she saw me pointing, asking if she did this. She tucked her tail and headed back to her bed, remorsefully. Is that a word?

  3. Almost a typical day in the land of Fartoomany Animals

  4. OOOOOOOOOO, I just adore your big fat black cat 🙂 x

  5. Oh, I can’t stop laughing.
    I have never tried mulberries. I don’t even know where to get them. I have had milk leak from the blender and that is so frustrating.
    I am not looking forward to hot flashes.

    • Mulberries are shaped like blackberries but are less acidic and sweet. They grow on trees instead of bushes and the birds that eat them drop purple poo all over the place. The berries also stick to the dogs foot pads and come in the house that way. They make great purple dye. Hold off those flashes as long as possible. Whew! Hot!

  6. Sugar causes hot flashes to be much worse. MD told me that and it’s true-at least it was for me.

  7. HOw old is sadie? I love her face!!! She looks a lot like my old dog Jess who was part black lab and part hound.
    What do you put in your smoothies?
    We do coconut milk/blueberries/raspberries/banana/whey grass fed protein/spinach/spirulina/collagen/licorice root/l-glutamine/pear….that sucker is packed full!!!!

    • Yum. That sounds great. But lots of people would turn their noses up at the strange names. Two of my kids enjoy my green drinks but not the other two or the hubby. I use almond milk the same fruits as you. Protein powder by Sara Godfried with no bad stuff. I only use stevia if ever an artificial sweetener and that powder contains that and no dairy or gluten. Tell me about the collagen licorice root glutamine parts. I use an energy vitamin mix by spring life and hemp and chia plus green leafy stuff. Sometimes slivered almonds or avacado or pumpkin seeds, gogi berries…whatever is close at hand. you know..

      • http://www.metagenics.com/mp/products/glutagenics is the product we use. It helps calm the intestinal tract and is good for the immune system. It has licorice root, aloe vera and glutamine as an amino acid since she doesnt eat meat she needs the amino acid. We use marine based collagen. Other collagen is mostly beef based which my daughter would not eat and neither would I. But it builds strength and is good for overall health.

      • Oh the strange names….i just put it all in there!!!! I used to use rice milk or almond milk but the nutritionist said that coconut milk would put more nutrients in for her and she doesnt do well with high protein and almonds are hard for her to digest

        • I see. I’m in need of protein and they are iffy about coconut products with me. Lipidologist and nutritionist. Say in my case with very high cholesterol and triglycerides and borderline diabetic I’m to increase non animal protein and eat fruits lower in sugar and mostly veggies as I don’t process carbs well. I put actual almonds in to get more protein plus the shake mix. We are all complicated aren’t we.

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