Life Stories and Beyond

Lisa Batten Kunkleman

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January 14, 2025
lisakunk

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Purging is Okay but Preserving is Okay Too

I know, I know! Purging is cleansing. I agree up to a point. Reminiscing is cleansing as well. Hubby Dan and I have lost all four of our parents. With neither of us having moved during our childhoods, our attic and storage areas held tons of cool and not so cool items.

His parents’ belongings courted with my parents’ belongings and perhaps even had baby belongings. Both sets of parents also had their own businesses, adding that to the personal accumulation that we’ve dealt with over the years. We’ve made great progress in eliminating, but it is a process.

Neither of us are take it to the dump and feel great about it people. We are all about reuse and donate and gift things that are useful or collectable. We are also sentimental and enjoy going through our childhood keepsakes. As such, we’re both thankful our parents didn’t give away all our childhood treasures. We now have grandchildren who play with our golden oldies and those of our four now adult children. They love it, and we love seeing the toys have a second and third chance to bring joy.

Here’s a news flash. Not everything that isn’t used daily needs to be eliminated. I’m sure you’ve all heard that popular saying about getting rid of anything that doesn’t bring you joy. Well, some things can bring joy by simply existing.

I’ve spent the past hour reliving memories of Barbie play, and thanks to their preservation, I can do more than remember. I sat and held those old dolls. I even dressed a few of them. I wondered what happened to the body that belonged to the lone Barbie head and why the legs won’t stay on another girl. I arranged the Barbies, Ken, Allen, and Skipper dolls in a standing order in the suitcase where they are stored just as I used to stand them up against our sofa.

I remember excitedly carrying that very suitcase to the houses of my friends Marcie and Sarah so our dolls could have a play date. I was so jealous of Marcie’s Midge that I “accidently” kept her at my house and even gave her a cute little haircut. I got into trouble for that one but it’s a fun memory. Today, I sent Marcie a photo of Midge and she says she likes the bob, so all is well. I was also jealous of Sarah’s bookcase her father turned into a Barbie mansion. Each square of the bookcase was a furnished room with rugs and accessories and all the things Barbie would need to have a fancy life. I tried to recreate that for my daughters decades later and it wasn’t as nice, but they didn’t know the difference. So, all was well there too.

My point is, don’t let anyone guilt you into getting rid of special, sentimental keepsakes. They are treasures. Yes, you could do without them, but you do you. If you are sixty-five like me and want to keep your Barbies and even spend a few hours playing with them, just do it. Let your inner child play, people. And for goodness sake, stop tossing everything out. At least donate. There’s someone out there who would love to play with your old toys. They might paint your Barbie Dream House black and use it for a Halloween decoration, but at least it’s not garbage. Now go find your Lincoln Logs or your Hot Wheels cars and set up that big old track and have a moment with your little self. It’s okay to play. It’s ok to reminisce and find joy in what other people might consider trash. Have fun with your treasures. You have my permission.

November 12, 2024
lisakunk

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Broken Ankle? Here’s My Key to Getting Through the Non- Weight Bearing Stage

If anyone had told me my new best friends would be a bedside potty and a knee scooter, I would’ve said, “No way. My best friends are electricity and running hot and cold water.”

I learned to treasure those essential buddies from too many hurricanes and their aftermaths. Now I must add to my list of essential treasures.

After falling in a hole in the lovely leaf-covered woods, I was able to curse a little and call God a lot, yet unable to stand or even move my right leg. Nearly passing out repeatedly, I knew I was in trouble. After being rescued and carried out of those woods by two of my adult children, each one holding a leg, I learned Sarah and Sam are as strong as oxen. Sarah and I spent the next seven hours in the ER and learned the X-rays showed a broken fibula (basically, the anklebone). Not just a bad sprain; I was in worse trouble than I thought.

These strong kids had to hoist me up the front steps to get me into the house where I finally landed in a rolling office chair for a ride to my bed.

Sweet relief to be home faded as I realized there would be a need to potty now and then. Oh Lordy. The rolling chair wouldn’t fit through the bathroom door. I had to hold onto my husband Dan and hop like a lopsided kangaroo to the porcelain chair.

I’ll skip the private details but will admit my modesty left with childbirth so I accepted hubby’s help as I propped and bent, and hung on to my britches which kept wanting to fall down to the floor. Meanwhile I was balancing on one foot and hurting like the dickens underneath that massive splint.

Hop, hop, hopping to the rolling chair outside the bathroom door, I plopped down on the seat without hitting the floor, and I was wheeled to the table to eat for the first time in forever.

Fast forward: The next morning, after a horrible night of non-sleep, Dan appeared with accessibility supplies from our church swap program. He brought a wheelchair, a shower seat, a bed transfer board, and a bedside potty chair. I promise you, I heard the Angels singing.

Here’s the gist of the situation. The wheelchair is helpful but awkward to get in and out of the bathroom. On the bright side, that beautiful potty chair sits at the foot of the bed and all I have to do is run people off, put down my left foot, hold the damaged leg in the air and swivel to sit down independently. No help required. Heavenly.

There is a special secret to using the bedside potty. Put plenty of bags in the bottom of the container and pour in some kitty litter. You heard that right, kitty litter. Cats have the right idea. All that they need is a human willing to clean it out and restock it, ready for use.

My other best friend I mentioned is my cute little pink knee scooter. Since my injury is low on the leg, I can put my injured leg’s knee on the scooter and get all over the house. Currently because of the healing process, I’m pretty tired so I don’t go too fast, but my grandson does. He’s a beast on that thing.

If anyone wants more advice as I find helpful hints in this recovery process, I’m happy to share. But I’ll reiterate, that bedside potty and kitty litter is the bombdiggity. Maybe y’all could use one for potty training your kids. Just a thought.

Bedside potty and knee scooter. My best friends at the moment.

July 9, 2024
lisakunk

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Skin Cancer is Sneaky

What I thought was an annoying little crusty thing that kept reappearing on my nose, turned out to be a whole lot more than a tiny aggravation. Fortunately, I have a great dermatologist who biopsied the little thing.  It was a squamous cell carcinoma that had to be removed pronto. Today I had Mohs surgery to remove my little annoyance. With that type of surgery there is less scarring and you know right away if they got it all. Thanks to lidocaine and a talented surgeon, my left nostril now sports a sunroof. It is still asleep, but once it wakes up, I’m sure I will breathe more easily. I am mouth breathing at the moment. I’m so thankful that I could take care of this while it was a teeny tiny thing. Don’t ignore things that grow on you. Especially if you were a youthful sun- worshiper like I was. We get old and we start growing things. Don’t just assume that they’re supposed to be there.

December 1, 2023
lisakunk

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Leftovers: When Does Joy Turn to Obligation?

By: Lisa Batten Kunkleman

Leftovers: When do they move from being joyful endulgence to  another holiday obligation?

Are you over the leftovers yet? Does your fridge need a diet or a full-on cleanse? Does your dishwasher need a vacation? How to ensure all the food gets eaten the week after Thanksgiving is a conundrum for many, especially those of us raised in the ‘waste not, want not’ generation. There are all sorts of hacks out there to do just that. Heck, I even boiled down the nearly naked turkey carcass for broth I don’t like and made turkey pastry out of it. That’s turkey and dumplings for people outside of eastern North Carolina. I go to extremes to avoid tossing anything edible, but now I have a new dilemma. What do I do with all that pastry that nobody particularly liked, when the countdown monster of how many days the leftovers are edible is right behind me? Those noodles can’t go in the compost bin since it’s filled with poultry scent. We could draw coyotes and cats from miles around with that stinky rich broth. We could put it in the trash, but that’s stinky and gross. We can’t feed it to Fido named Tucker, because more than a little bit would be far too rich for his tender system. I might dig a hole and bury it away from the house and let nature take its course. At least I’d feed the earth worms.

About that fridge. Let’s call him Fred. Fred has gone from a state of being filled with uncooked foods, to stacked with cooked foods and partially eaten foods, to piled with foods that travel in and out of the fridge every day hoping to provide sustenance and not return. But do they return? Yes they do. They seem to multiply like the loaves and fishes in the Bible. To prove the amount is shrinking, the food has shifted residences from large Corning Ware Casseroles to medium-sized Rubbermaid containers with the cranberries going into small margarine tubs. The veggies started cohabiting, the butter beans, green beans, and collards moved into a five-by-seven oval Pyrex condo with their own personal areas and a flat rubber roof. That rooftop served as a solid patio space for other condos to stack and hang out in Fred and was a big help with conserving tinfoil atop pies, since aluminum wrap is a flimsy material for stacking.

On to the dishwasher which is an underappreciated appliance if I ever saw one. Let’s call him Doug. Doug tells me there are far too many people who believe the appliance ad hype about not needing to scrape off food residue and prerinse. I’ve researched this topic, since our household doesn’t have a garbage disposal thanks to the offhanded comment of a plumber twenty years ago. He told my husband that garbage disposals were bad if you had a septic system. Therefore, we must scrape our food somewhere besides down the sink. So, do we choose the trashcan, the compost bin, or the mouth of Tucker waiting at our feet for the slightest morsel to drop? Does the food that goes into poor Doug’s belly just disappear? Poof? Nope. Surprise! It swirls around beating against all the unrinsed and pre-rinsed dishes making them dirtier than when they entered the rack. Those squishy bits spread slime and grit throughout the machine where they wet, lather, and rinse, like we do our hair, except, thank goodness for us, we don’t have a tornado of crud flying around the shower to land all over us, only to stick and dry. If we did, we’d look and smell like the cloudy glasses that come from a dirty dishwasher. Cascade can’t fix the problem. Simple people like you and me, we can fix this.

And another thing, the gobbledy gook, see what I did there, (gobble, get it?) and greasy gunk in your pots that would never cross a wise person’s lips would make your own little Fido quite happy. Instead of wasting water to get rid of grease, wipe it out with a paper towel, trash it, and maybe finish wiping the pan with a slice of bread or half eaten biscuit and treat Fido to the highlight of his day. You know those big eyes and furrowed brows make you want to give him something good. Just do it, but don’t overdo it. And never share bones or pork. We learned about pork the hard way. Even better, if you want your dishes, pots, and pans super clean, just set them on the floor and let man’s best friend take care of the scraping and prerinsing. Doug can do the sanitizing and the problem is solved.

Tell the truth. Did you know there’s a food trap in the bottom of your dishwasher’s belly that needs to be cleaned of all those tiny pieces of crudola? Hmmm. Lots of people don’t know, so there you go, news you can use. We learn something new every day. Gotta run eat one last day of leftovers before I give Fred a cleanse and give Doug a rest.

Until the next big meal and gathering, Fred will survive on lettuce, carrots, milk, eggs, and a zillion condiments. Fred isn’t the only one who needs a cleanse.

August 31, 2023
lisakunk

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Mammogram: Have You Treated Yourself Lately?

 

Hey ladies? Have you had your annual mammogram yet? How long has it been? Do you have a personal checklist? A to do list for taking care of yourself? I do. I’ve timed it for the end of summer as if I’m getting ready to go back to school. Why then? I used to be a middle school guidance counselor and before I took on the masses of sixth, seventh, and eighth graders, I needed to be in my best condition. For me, that meant getting my teeth examined and cleaned, my hair cut, my physical exam, and most importantly, my mammogram. That is the top of the list.

Mammograms are a breeze these days. The scratchy paper shirts are long gone, replaced by plush, velvety pink, of course, bathrobes. Fresh and clean, and I know this because they come in a sealed bag. The dressing room is supplied with wipes, tissues, and sometimes spray deodorant for use after the procedure is completed. The only precaution before arrival is no lotion or deodorant where the machine will pick up the residue and get an inaccurate picture.

The employees are so kind and even entertaining. My most recent imaging center had two comical ladies in pink at the reception desk, rocking to the radio set on a blend of great music. They could have gone to the Barbie Movie and fit right in with their outfits. They included me in a conversation and even asked me if I knew what a fake pasta is. Do you know? Well, it’s an imposta. Get it? Cute.

The technician who laid my girls in just the right place on the machine had me posing like in a photo shoot with a knee bent and my chin up just so. I felt quite model-like in a weird sort of way. The ta-ta squishing is more tech savvy these days. No need for making skinny pancakes like in olden days. Another plus is, the machine corners are more rounded and less of a pointy cold metal contraption. Now the handsome machines are made of a comfy soft material better suited for your armpit’s resting place. I’m telling you, it’s not bad at all. I had mine at eight in the morning then rewarded myself with breakfast out with a friend. A win win all the way around. I thought about going to the dentist that afternoon but decided to spread the joy out until next week when I’ll also get my haircut. Can’t have too much excitement in self-care all in the same day. That’s like eating three desserts at the same meal.

So, if you haven’t had a mammogram lately, think about putting that vital item on your to do list. Call for an appointment and feel proud of yourself for not procrastinating. You’ll get results online in a few days. No more waiting anxiously for a phone call or a week or more for the mail to bring a letter with the results. Are you ready to check this off your list? Now make that appointment. Whatcha waiting for?

May 22, 2023
lisakunk

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Pretend to be a Gardener: My Secret Recipe for Pretending you are A Plant Whisperer by Lisa Batten Kunkleman

Simple gardening 101: Geraniums

My favorite pet flower is the geranium. I call it pet because it makes me smile when I see it blooming away, just being itself, just like I enjoy watching a cat or dog living the good life being themselves. My geraniums are not constantly demanding food and water like many needy plants. They’re happy just lounging in a sunbeam and blowing in the breeze. They appreciate my efforts now and then to remove their dead blossoms, (that’s called deadheading), give them a good slug of water when the rain is busy elsewhere and maybe a sprinkle of plant food if the bloom production slows down a bit. But even without such attention, they tend to do their own thing till a freeze comes along. Being the good parent I am, I take my pets in when the weather calls for a freeze and I protect them until conditions are good to get back outside for the next year. A little extra plant food wakes them up from the cozy winter inside and they are off and blooming. If you wish your thumb was a little green, you might find success with the non demanding, beauty of a pet plant, the geranium.

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February 13, 2023
lisakunk

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Happiness is so Fun To Watch by Lisa Batten Kunkleman

When life gets tough, try to find things to make you smile. Use all your senses to find it. Smell that toast. Rub that fleecy blanket. Listen to upbeat music. Taste that good smelling toast. Watch our granddog living large with his best friend, Water. He’s using all his senses I’m certain.

Tucker Dog and his best buddy, Water.

September 30, 2022
lisakunk

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Storm Prep Tips before the Wind, Rain, Loss of Power or Water

Living for decades near the coast and on a farm with well water has made me be a storm prep fanatic. After nine days without power or water following Hurricane Hugo in 1989 and other storms to follow, I do the following while the weather people are forecasting:

Stock up on sink water. No need to go buy out the bottle water supply. Fill pots, pitchers, sinks or tubs with water. This is vital if you lose water and sewer when power goes out. It can be used for drinking, washing, flushing.

Charge up everything. Phones, laptops, tablets, flashlights, and anything chargeable.

Find your flashlights and lanterns. And batteries too. Check to see that these little used items actually work.

Move cars to safety. Try to move out from under trees and power lines if possible.

Secure all lightweight items in the yard. They can become projectiles that can cause damage and even break windows. Bird feeders, trash cans, umbrellas, lightweight furniture, potted plants.

Protect your pets. They will be scared and need shelter, food, and water.

Storms can range from gentle, lovely, and fun to massive, intense, and scary. Do what you can to prepare to make it easier. If you’ve got candles and flashlights to go with your water and sewer, you’ve got this.

If you’re lucky enough to not need your preparation because the storm misses you or lessens, that’s great news. You’ve cleaned up your yard and have pots ready to make tea and noodles and a bathtub ready to add some hot water to bathe a person or pet. Be safe and be prepared.

August 3, 2022
lisakunk

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Missing Pieces or Extra Pieces?

By Lisa B Kunkleman

 

Seriously? We worked on this big ol’ Coca Cola Ads puzzle for a week and now that we’ve finished, there’s one piece missing and, are you kidding me, we have three duplicate pieces! How does that even happen? So now what do I do with this massive defective puzzle? Give it to Goodwill and let an unsuspecting buyer find out he’s bought a box of disappointment the same way we did?   

 Maybe I can give the puzzle to a local art teacher who appreciates all our reusables for her projects. I see all kinds of ideas on Pinterest using puzzle pieces. And how about the incomplete playing card sets I just found while rummaging through drawers in our hutch. There are oodles of creative uses for a misfit deck of cards. I’m sure the art teacher would love to have them, too. 

I found a fun collection of dice, an hourglass that measures a minute, and long lost playing pieces for games. Let’s see, here are Skip Bo, Taboo, and Catch Phrase instructions. We all know how to play but who knows, maybe we’ll forget as we age. Oh and here’s a little house from The Game of Life. I’m not sure if we still have that game but I’ll keep the house in case it turns up. Seems like the spinner broke and we talked about donating it to Goodwill years ago.

Here’s the Ziploc bag of orphan puzzle pieces. I hope we didn’t give away their parent puzzles. Aha, that’s where the guitar picks got to. And the marbles for Chinese Checkers. Yay. Now more than two people can play at a time.  

Found some more loose playing cards. Our grandson will love playing fifty-two-card pick up with the wayward cards. He can’t count to twenty-two, much less fifty- two but he might stay occupied for at least two minutes if we’re lucky.

I guess it’s time to take apart the puzzle. Man, it was a good one even if it was defective. Should I be honest and write in Sharpie on the back of the box what the situation is? “This is a box of disappointment.” I’ve gotta put those extra pieces back in there.Wait. I have an idea. Maybe I should add in all my other extra homeless pieces. Oo how fun is that? I know what I’ll write, “Enjoy. This one has a surprise ending.”

March 20, 2022
lisakunk

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Even Windchimes Have Off Days

If you’re feeling kind of “off” and not your usual melodic or chipper self, take a look inside for stuff that needs to be cleared out. Even windchimes have visitors like dirt dobbers and spiders that leave gunk behind, clogging up lightness and tinkles. Don’t keep that mess inside clogging up life. Talk to someone about the junk that’s blocking your lightness. Clear the path so you can see light at the other end and make life a lovely sound.

Get a friend to help you get rid of your junk and clogs
Lightness and beautiful sounds once the junk is removed.

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