Life Stories and Beyond

Our Bodies. Our Families. Our Lives. We all have stories we should share. We're more alike than we know.

April 1, 2017
lisakunk

17 comments

I’d like to Change “The Change”

By Lisa Batten Kunkleman

Why do women get to experience so much change in life? I’m referring to “The Change.” I’ve long passed the age where I find change fun and exciting. I may have some spontaneity left in this old girl but never knowing when my insides will boil and my face will turn red and bead with sweat is not my kind of living on the edge. This kind of living is simply annoying. Cooking from the inside out may be okay for a crock-pot but not for a woman.

 

The title, “The Old Crone” used to sound funny before I became one, an irritable wretch for as much as two minutes per hour. That’s two times twenty-four. That’s forty-eight minutes a day that I’m a fiery, untouchable, hot ball of walking lava. Move out of the way or my steam might scald you too if my agitated words don’t take you down first. I should tell you I’m normally a very nice, peace-loving person.

 

My husband, Dan, who, bless his heart, sleeps with my feet in his face at various times every night, told me this morning, “You’re burning up.” He feels a flash coming on before I do if I’ve snuggled up to him in our heavily blanketed bed.

 

Heavily blanketed sounds counterproductive I know, but I peel them off like Pillsbury flaky canned biscuit layers as my personal global warming comes across in waves. Take off the top cozy spread, then the brown fleece blanket, then the sheet and I’m free to flip my head to the end of our California King bed that we only use my third of. If Dan wakes up, he might risk his life rubbing my feet as I cool off with the ceiling fan swirling overhead as it does every night, all four seasons.

 

It’s a wonder he hasn’t had black eyes and bloody noses for all the times I’ve kicked my feet and groused, “Puleeze don’t touch me. I’m trying to cool off here.” “And don’t flap my pant legs. That doesn’t help.”

 

I often stomp off to the blue-tiled bathroom where I splash cold water on my face and neck, feeling my already wet skin and hair become wetter. In the mirror, I look sunburned, bloated, and blotchy.

 

The cold water does nothing but make me damper than I was but it gets me out of the smothering bed that touches one whole side of my frying body. Standing upright in front of the ever-present little purple fan on my dresser allows air to circulate on my whole self except for the bottom of my feet.

 

As I’m returning to the bed, Dan says something nice like, “Are you ready to come back up here, right side up?”

 

“Lord what’s wrong with you? Can’t you see I’m sweating to death? No I don’t want to go back up there where you’ll roast me like a marshmallow. I should go outside and cool off. It’s an oven in here and only twenty degrees out there. I’ll open the window a crack. ”

 

Knowing from his silent response that I was evil to Saint Dan, I crawl back into bed, head beside his. In mere moments I feel a chill and pull up the sheet, the fleece blanket and the cozy top comforter. I nestle into my husband’s toasty body and we fit like spoons.

 

“It’s really cold in here,” I say, pulling his arm around me and lacing my fingers with his.

17 thoughts on “I’d like to Change “The Change”

  1. My mother was fortunate to not experience hot flashes. I’m hoping that I follow her lead. As I’ve gotten older, I find myself freezing all of the time. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh honey! I feeeeel your pain. Finally, at 60, my hot flashes have abated some. Occasionally I’ll get a quick flash, but nothing like the ones I used to have. You described them perfectly. One quick remedy–keep several rubber baby teething rings in a dorm fridge beside your bed. Feel a flash comin on? Pluck one of the rings out of the fridge and apply it to any part of your anatomy. Instant cool.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great description! I have had a touch of it for the past 2 years, but I am sure it is just biding its time until it hits me full force. My family is getting used to seeing me bundled up in a blanket and then the next minute throwing it off!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. For me, irritation comes with the prickling heat and I am irrationally grumpy for about 5 minutes until it all relaxes back to normal.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember ‘the change’ well. That was when, in winter, my kids would close the backdoor for the 10th time as they said ‘Seriously, mum, you are the only person in the house who’s hot’.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I started getting hot flashes in mid 30’s and still do get them when nervous or stressed out. In my 40’s I got rage. Thankfully I found B vitamins and got that sorted. Late in my 40’s I couldn’t stand my husband’s feet touching my feet while we slept anymore, and him moaning at me in the morning when my alarm would go off. I’m an earlier riser than he is, but we didn’t start out that way, it was reversed when we were young. I would sleep til noon, and he would just be rollin in from a bicycle training ride or event. It was perfect.
    I want to hike in the morning when it’s cool, and he wants to go ride his bike or hike in late morning or afternoon when it’s warmer.
    We’re not in sync in the mornings too often these days. 🙂

    I quite often go in the spare room to sleep. I call it the retreat. I’m waiting for the day I don’t get weird about him touching my feet.
    I’m so grateful he’s taking it all in stride. I know one of these we’ll both wake up one morning and I won’t have pulled my feet away from his while we slept, and we’ll go hiking in cool hours of the morning.
    He-man is a Saint! I think all men that go through this with us are! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Great post, I can so relate to this

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m 50 & they’ve just started- I call them ‘warm flashes’ at the moment! But I have to say Chinese medicine & acupuncture definitely seem to calm them down, & I don’t care if it’s a placebo effect!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: