By Lisa Batten Kunkleman
There’s something wrong with chewing a smoothie. It means you’re a smoothie novice, not a smoothie king. The green concoction on my desk started out liquid, sort of. I’m not sure I want to finish off the healthy green blob in the bottom of my plastic tumbler. Maybe I added too much kale with the blueberries in my mad scientist attempt to make the ugliest cholesterol fixer-upper possible. Or perhaps the hemp and the chia seeds formed a jello commune. My nutritionist said chia seeds need special treatment but I zoned out and missed the details.
I think this ugly smoothie calls for a spoon. I tried tilting the tumbler and the blob fell on my top lip and almost went up my nose. Yuck! Who wants a green blob going up their nose? Drinking a strange potion can be difficult enough but even an ugly drink should resemble a liquid.
I poked it with my straw and it’s more solid than a jello jiggler. I can’t do it. It looks like something my cat leaves me for a gift. I’ll make a fresh one for lunch or better yet, use a fork to eat my kale in a salad, topped with seeds, nuts, and my newest fun food, gogi berries. That sure sounds more appetizing than chewing on a solid green smoothie.