By Lisa Batten Kunkleman
My hometown lost a treasure recently. A popular music teacher and friend to so many, Carol’s unexpected death left people speechless, unable to fathom the senselessness of the loss. Unable to accept that someone took her life. For those of us fortunate enough to know Carol, we each have cherished memories and stories to share about how she affected our lives.
In the 1970’s, as our young, energetic Baptist church youth and choral director, Carol worked diligently to keep all her teens involved. She provided us with opportunities for learning and service. Here’s my story.
Although there certainly were far better pianists to choose from in our church, she recruited me to play piano for the children’s choir. She also founded a close harmony sextet named Starshine, consisting of five of my friends and me. She taught us to appreciate some lovely pop ballads, like Cherish and More, that we performed for adult functions, civic groups, and for our own church. We performed as an a cappella group before that was a popular style of singing.
Fortunately, I didn’t procrastinate in telling our friend how much she meant to me in those teen years. Twenty years later, I told her how influential she and Starshine had been in my life. I told Carol how she nurtured my love of music by encouraging me to sing solos in church. Assuring me that the more I did it, the less I’d be nervous, she was always a smiling face or a winking eye in the audience helping me through my fear.
I explained that her nurturing of me had trickled down into the lives of my own kids who sang, played instruments, and performed in our family’s current church. When I told her that our oldest daughter majored in music, she lit up with my story of gratitude, so proud and pleased, yet humble. Always humble.
I was not alone in feeling her support. We all received her attention and nurturing. She went on from her church work to teach public school music for twenty-five years. I cannot imagine how many lives she affected, undoubtedly making every student feel important, special, like they mattered.
Our friend passed away this week. Someone took the life of one of the kindest, most talented people many from our small town will ever know. My hometown is in shock and disbelief. Murder does that. People wonder how such a horrendous event could happen to a lovely, caring person, one who lived her Christian beliefs, always putting others first. Carol’s pure kindness and caring made the world a brighter place.
I’ve decided there are Three Truths in Life: We’re all born. We all live a life filled with stories. We all die. The last part is difficult to accept. Whether by natural causes, accidents, old age, or tragedy of any kind, celebrating a life well lived is a positive and affirming way to deal with grief and sorrow. Sharing life stories and memories keeps people “alive” with us. Carol’s stories are well worth sharing. People’s stories tell so much more than how they died. Their stories show how they lived.
September 9, 2016 at 6:34 am
[J+D] Thanks for attesting a life lived for good.
September 9, 2016 at 10:34 am
Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s been a difficult post to write but her story must be told.
September 9, 2016 at 9:13 am
beautiful quote and great tribute
September 9, 2016 at 10:35 am
Thanks so much. She was a beautiful lady.
September 9, 2016 at 10:48 am
There are no words. My thoughts and prayers for her beautiful life and her family and friends.
September 9, 2016 at 11:01 am
Thanks so much for reading this, George. I know about there being no words. This was difficult to write as I wanted her love and life to overshine my personal feelings and emotions.
September 9, 2016 at 11:20 am
Your personal feelings and words are a reflection of her love and life, Lisa. You served her memory beautifully, with great love and respect.
September 9, 2016 at 11:50 am
What a beautiful tribute to Carol.No doubt she touched many lives. I love, love the quote, Lisa! Happy Friday!
September 9, 2016 at 11:55 am
A lovely tribute and soothing words – healing after such a heinous crime. So sorry for your loss and the loss of the whole community!
September 9, 2016 at 11:58 am
Thanks so much Jen. Are you still across the sea?
September 9, 2016 at 2:30 pm
Carol and I worked together for 13 years, together every morning, greeting the children on the way to breakfast. I can only agree with all the kind and loving comments that have been shared. The world will miss her.
September 9, 2016 at 2:46 pm
You were both lucky ladies to spend so much time together. What a nice way to start each day.
September 9, 2016 at 11:30 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. Your tribute was lovely.
September 10, 2016 at 2:06 am
Thanks so much for reading this one. It’s special to me.
September 10, 2016 at 10:46 am
Hugs.
September 10, 2016 at 4:21 am
I’m so pleased that you wrote this. I followed the link in the News Reporter and knew she affected many people, but you made it real to me since I had never heard of her until her untimely passing. Now that I am almost grown up myself I have been so enriched by the life stories of family and friends. We never know how the smallest kindness affects those in our circle of friends.
September 11, 2016 at 4:07 am
Thanks so much. I’m glad you got to know a bit of Carol. That was my hope. To share her story and encourage folks to talk to their influential people and not put that talk off too long.
September 10, 2016 at 4:57 pm
I am sorry for your loss.
September 11, 2016 at 4:08 am
Thanks so much. Thanks for reading this piece.
September 10, 2016 at 8:53 pm
What a beautiful tribute, Lisa. I am so sorry for your loss and glad that you have such warm memories of Carol.
September 11, 2016 at 4:09 am
Thank you Carol for reading and for the kind thoughts.
September 23, 2016 at 8:02 pm
So sorry to hear the news, Lisa. My condolences to all who loved Carol.
Thanks for your tribute to her and your observations about life.
September 26, 2016 at 5:41 pm
Sorry for your loss. Our memories keep the ones we love alive in our hearts. Beautiful story.
September 26, 2016 at 5:44 pm
Thanks so much. I appreciate you taking time to read this piece.