Squabble, Tiff, or Spat: Just Fix It
It’s amazing how a small thing can turn into a large, loud, ridiculous argument in a flippin’ fuschia minute. (That’s a play on red-hot minute) Mere seconds before, life is coasting along fine and suddenly, one person’s mouth opens and says something without knowing it will be taken the wrong way by the other party and BAM! The peace is split wide open. Torn and ripped with a zillion jagged edges and it all started because one person is either insensitive or the other is overly sensitive or perhaps it’s both. And a spat is born.
Maybe it doesn’t even matter what was said or who was testy or touchy. What matters is where this event takes those squabbling people. If the relationship is an unhealthy one, where the event takes them may be to dissolve the relationship. Sometimes, that is for the best. But, for people who really care about maintaining their relationship, there are several options. Use these options wisely or come up with other solutions that fit the situation even better.
Pouting is always a possibility. Quiet and ugly-faced on some people, this is often effective if kept up long enough to push the other party to give in so he or she has someone to talk with. It may have the opposite effect if one party really enjoys the silent treatment. An introvert may never give in to a pouter and relish the silence for an indefinite period.
Stomping around and slamming things like cabinet doors is another option. Be careful not to hurt pets or other people in all the dramatics. Muttering or even expounding to oneself about how aggravating and unfair the other party is can sometimes be effective if one party tends to feel guilty about things and the slammer-talker is good at making people feel guilt. Southern women tend to be masters of this guilt technique.
Pretending like nothing happened and coming back to the other party with normal conversation, food, gifts, and/or even a gentle shoulder massage is an option that works quite nicely for some couples who argue on purpose just to get this response. This is especially effective for tactically sensitive people and those who are good at kissing up to get their way.
It doesn’t really matter who was wrong or right, although we can argue that point in circles forever and never get an answer. What matters is that if you care for a person, just fix it. I’d like to say let it go but I shouldn’t due to a recent blockbuster movie and song making people a bit tired of that phrase. But that’s what needs to happen. Really. We don’t have enough time to hold grudges with people we love. Lighten up. If you can’t laugh it off, you might try praying for hearts to be softened so forgiveness can occur. What have you got to lose? Here, in case you’ve never prayed or don’t believe in prayer, I’ll start one for you. “Dear Father, Please help us to lighten up, enjoy life and love each other…” Now how hard was that?
May 8, 2014 at 4:35 pm
May 30, 2014 at 5:39 pm
Never go to sleep angry and for goodness sake, never let anyone get in the car angry. Fix it!
September 26, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Reblogged this on Life Stories and Beyond.
September 26, 2016 at 3:38 pm
I’ve found that those trivial dramatic events are just a cover for what is truly bothering someone…and a good excuse to blow up ! Nice post. ☺
September 26, 2016 at 4:19 pm
Thanks so much. I thought it was timely.
September 26, 2016 at 3:42 pm
for sure! I’ve been known to smash plates in the sink. sigh. But I try never to let the sun go down on a squabble!
September 26, 2016 at 3:44 pm
I cannot imagine you smashing plates but I’m trying. And yes. Never part ways angry.
September 26, 2016 at 3:58 pm
I do my best to avoid arguments…I prefer peace. 🙂
September 26, 2016 at 4:18 pm
Me too. I am a master at raising one eyebrow which translates into, “Seriously?”